Like a beautiful white angel with a dark inside.

That's how I feel right now. The world around me isn't real, neither am I. Only the pain exists. Numb, that's a good word for it. The keys I'm pressing right now feels like they'll dissolve the second I press them. My insides are cold, unfeeling, yet I know how I'm supposed to feel and acts thereafter. Smiling when I should smile. Laughing when I'm supposed to. Loving without feeling. Fooling everyone. Crying on the inside, because this is not who and what I want to be. I want to be happy, enjoy spring and feel relief at school soon being over, like everyone else. But my heart weighs so much I can't stand it. It feels so big, yet unable to feel anything except the pain. I wish I could rip it out, would have done so already if it weren't for my stupid bravery that tells me I have to live on. Endure. But for how long?

Yes, that is how bad it is now. And I don't know who to tell, don't know who to confide in. But if I can't trust my father, and my mother no longer wants me in the house, what am I supposed to do?

If one can't talk to the ones who gave one life, should one speak at all?

My biggest fear, my Dementors, are back, and I have not enough feeling left in me to conjure up a Patronus.