...O...M...G...

Buono! is coming to Sweden! And I'm going to look at them! And I'm going to cosplay, and dress in lolita and OMG it's going to be awesome. I need to learn all their songs and dances so that I can be a real awesome fan and do just like they do in Japan and sing and dance with them, not like normal Swedish fans who just jump around and scream so much you can't hear the music.

I swear I've never been more excited in my life. This is going to be the most awesome summer ever, in my whole life. Two conventions, one a Harry Potter one (<3 Expecto Patronum <3) and the other one Japan Expo with Buono! I still can't grasp the fact that I'm going to be in the same room as a part of Hello! Project, the idols from Japan that always seemed so far away for me... I mean, that's just... awesome. I find myself with such a lack of words to describe it with, other than that it is so frikkin' wonderful I just can't believe it. I hardly know what to do with myself. I have no frikkin' idea.
And now I don't even know what I'm talking about except that it has something to do with Buono! and Miya, who is too beautiful for words (although she doesn't beat Yossy, of course), so I'm gonna quit and return to listening to their music. Right now I'm listening to Lotta Love, Lotta Love.

But OMG. Buono!. Miya. Momo. Airi. Mari-chan (that's me ^^'). In the same room. In Sweden. Gah.

*diez*

*bes innocent*

*tweaks layout a teensy-weensy bit*

*whistles innocently and walks away*



















COME ON NOW, FEFO, START WORKING! >_<

WOHO~! ^-^

I was so frikkin' brave yesterday, I siriusly deserve a medal or something. Granted, I was a bit late, but I did it! <3

Court Intrigue was closing because there was a lack of players. First I just stared at it, and then I went onto the board to read the message Serenity had written, and I just started crying. I regretted so much that I had abandoned that RPG, and was so angry at myself. It was really one of its kind, and I had such fun there, and then I just let it all go just because I had real-life problems. Maybe it actually would have helped to stay, to have something to escape into when I felt down. But, I didn't, losing Rei-chan and Jonna the Virgo in the process.

But when I had stopped crying, I said to myself: now or never. If the board closes and you never went back you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

Problem is I hate apologizing. But I started Word with Naia-chan's mail and Serenity's message in the background and went on typing. I said I was sorry. I told them about some of the problems I've been through and that I still am trying to deal with. And I think they understood. I hope they did. At least they are talking to me and being nice, which is more than I should expect after abandoning them. Twice.

Naia-chan called it "our makeshift family", and I guess that's exactly what it is. One of the many families I have that care so much more than what the one family that really should does.

<3 to all of those "families" that I have. You are so awesome it's almost unbelievable.

------------

On another, really short note (haha, I promise! ;D): today I got my dreads!Awesome, ne? ;) And I'm horribly sirius in that picture... not. XD

Oi... -_-

Looking back at that post I just made, I write way to much. XD

Here's a picture me and classmate Mikaela to make up for it. 8D Hah, or not... It's from our play En Drömsaga (that would be "A Dream Tale" translated, I think ^^') where I played fairy princess Roxanna. See my beautiful tutu and long hair? It was about the only thing that was very princess-y about her, since she was a very boyish princess. ^^ <3
Oh, and ignore the background, it was a big black curtain hanging there during the actual shows.

Let the nerdiness begin!

Just because I said I was gonna try to be more active I go ahead and get sick enough to not have the energy to do so... -_- Bleh, I don't want to be sick. Well, I don't like being at home all days. School's even more fun than being at home and arguing with Mum all the time. I hardly leave my room nowadays, when I'm home, all to avoid getting into fights. It's just no fun, which is kinda obvious. But I have some hopes of getting to school tomorrow, at least if I continue to feel as well as I feel now.

I fell ill on Sunday evening, but during the day I went to Kupolen with Dad, Altisa, Glenn and Sarah. Thought I would bump into Ida, Milan and Hampus, since they were going there as well, but never did. Anyway, I got lots of money from Dad since Jesper and Glenn had gotten a Wii, and as always he is trying to buy me. I bought lots of kawaii things, a pillow shaped like a cupcake and a tablecloth with cupcakes on it from Lagerhaus, the latest Pokémon magazine, a blue skirt and a black one with white dots, two white tights, a black Alice band with a big bow in it, and earrings that are small, black bows. ^_^ Over-knees and a pair of white summer shoes was also purchased, along with a Happy Meal at McDonald's. I wish I could shop that much everyday, it's too much fun. <3 But I'm having a really hard time finding clothes I like nowadays, because shops like Lindex and H&M just don't sell the kind of clothes I like to wear.

Pokémon Diamond is going well, and I'm considering myself an awesome trainer because my Zubat/Golbat must have been overjoyed because it only took it one level up from when it had just evolved into Golbat to evolve into Crobat. It's my own mean flying vampire killing machine now. ^^'

I've been listening to the soundtrack of High School Musical 3 a lot lately, and also found the hillarious bloopers on Youtube, along with the Deleted Scenes. The blooper I loved, and I'm dying to know what Lucas actually did to whatever-his-name-is-that-plays-Zeke. It looked like he kissed him, although a lot of people seem to think they were only hugging or wrestling. Maybe I just love yaoi too much. ^^'
Anyway, about the Deleted Scenes, they just pissed me off. When I had looked at the movie the first time I was really angry because it was all Troy and Gabriella, and the rest of the charas that the previous films had bothered to introduce were all thrown into the background. Then I looked at the Deleted Scenes, and there they were, all those scenes I missed. BIG fail for whoever cut the movie. And I'll say it again, I've played Sharpay enough in RPG to know that she would never be satisfied with that ending she got.

AND I'VE SIGNED UP FOR EXPECTO PATRONUM 2009 NOW! <3 Yeah, I know I rule. ^_^ Hope I make it into Gryffindor this time. Not that I mind Hufflepuff (Earmuff Hufflepuff!), it is the second best house after all, but I do think I'm much better off in Gryffindor. And it would be a shame if I couldn't wear my Gryffindor school uniform, ne? ;)

- End of nerdiness -

Weeeell... Hello ^^'

I'm useless at updating this, aren't I? -_- Well, I've never been a diary person, so I guess I'm not much of a blogger either, since it's not so very different from each other. But at least I can try. I want to try. I know that in a few years time, I will look back on my life and think: what the devil did I do that day? And then I'll regret that I didn't write it up. So, I want to try to be more active. If I still won't be, anyone is welcome to poke me. I would give that permission to my RPG-friends too, if it wasn't for that I then would be afraid of how much I would be poked. I still feel bad about Court Intrigue and Senshi Come Together, not to mention Naia-chan. I still visit her journal from time to time, and I've been onto her RPG Asgaardian Senshi so many times thinking about applying for Sailor Skaadi with my awesome Vampiru-based OC, but I never dare. I'm such a coward. -_- Not to mention a horrible friend.

Well, isn't this a nice blog entry... >_< I'm just sulking around.

So, anyway, a few days ago, I realised that it's not only my father that is an alcoholic, my mum is one, too. I've probably known it for quite a while, I just didn't want to accept it. But now I have to.
A few nights ago she drank a bit too much, and ended up talking to my uncle, which is never a good thing, since they aren't really on talking terms. I dunno what happened, but all of a sudden she were in my room, shouting about how she thought I should go and live with my uncle or my sister or someone else of our relatives that are all nutters, because I didn't appreciate anything I had here at home anyway, and Mum always felt so unapreciated and so on...
Me being quite used to this, told her calmly that I didn't want to talk to her when she was drunk, and then she started throwing things in my room to me, trying to force me to answer her. Then I told her that if she didn't stop and leave, then I would leave. She didn't stop, so I took my bag and left the house. It was in the middle of the night.
I first thought about sleeping outside in the shed, but it was too cold for that, so I called Sito and he came. Whatever god out there that sent him falling through the Rift, thank you, because he saved me that night. <3
We talked most of the night, and then I told him to drive me back home early in the morning, because I was worried that Mum would call the police or something. She was still sleeping when I got home, so I went to bed to sleep a few hours, and later that day she actually walked in and asked me why my things lay all over the floor.

What does one say in such a situation...? I told her the truth, and she was terrified. And excuse me for saying it, but she deserve that. She really does, because she hurt me that night. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I had to flee from my own home... which, now when I think about it, I wrote long ago wasn't my home at all, because home isn't a place to me any more, it is a feeling.

Hah, sorry. I should probably try and write something less depressing once in a while. Just one more thing though, and it is really bugging me: fefo refuses to work on my dad's computer for some reason. And I really needed "my family" right now...

Anyway, yesterday was my name's day: Maria/h. I messed up when I asked Mum that maybe we should go shop something yummy because of that, and because it was Saturday, my last weekend before school started again, and The Melody Festival. She immediately went on about how we didn't have any money and how she didn't have a car and that it was such a bad suggestion and that she always felt bad when I started talking about money. I tried shutting myself in my room and watch Doctor Who to take my mind off from that we were fighting again, but of course she had to butt in. I went to bed then, and the morning after I called my dad and it turned out he was going to watch hockey today. I asked if I could come, and I could, and I'm also sleeping over at his place, so that's where I am now. It feels good to get away from Mum for a while, but it doesn't make me like being at Dad's either, because I keep being anxious about him getting drunk too, or him and Altisa starting to fight.

But! (... And this is actually a funny thing... ^^') At the hockey game, everyone under sixteen went in for free, and I made it in as a fifteen-year-old! And I'm gonna celebrate my frikkin' nineteenth birthday this year! I love looking younger than I am! <3

And now I'm sitting here and is about to go to bed, but I've been looking at cosplay pics and got all inspired, so now I have to finish this short piece I'm writing about Sora-chan, Zoi and Zareb. Dunno if it ever will make it into the actual TSoaSS, but I already love it to death, so I will probably not be able to resist squeezing it in at some appropriate place. ^__^ Anyway, it's making Zareb happy, so...

That's it from me, people! G'night!

P.S. Don't forget to poke me! ;) I need that!