Weeeell... Hello ^^'

I'm useless at updating this, aren't I? -_- Well, I've never been a diary person, so I guess I'm not much of a blogger either, since it's not so very different from each other. But at least I can try. I want to try. I know that in a few years time, I will look back on my life and think: what the devil did I do that day? And then I'll regret that I didn't write it up. So, I want to try to be more active. If I still won't be, anyone is welcome to poke me. I would give that permission to my RPG-friends too, if it wasn't for that I then would be afraid of how much I would be poked. I still feel bad about Court Intrigue and Senshi Come Together, not to mention Naia-chan. I still visit her journal from time to time, and I've been onto her RPG Asgaardian Senshi so many times thinking about applying for Sailor Skaadi with my awesome Vampiru-based OC, but I never dare. I'm such a coward. -_- Not to mention a horrible friend.

Well, isn't this a nice blog entry... >_< I'm just sulking around.

So, anyway, a few days ago, I realised that it's not only my father that is an alcoholic, my mum is one, too. I've probably known it for quite a while, I just didn't want to accept it. But now I have to.
A few nights ago she drank a bit too much, and ended up talking to my uncle, which is never a good thing, since they aren't really on talking terms. I dunno what happened, but all of a sudden she were in my room, shouting about how she thought I should go and live with my uncle or my sister or someone else of our relatives that are all nutters, because I didn't appreciate anything I had here at home anyway, and Mum always felt so unapreciated and so on...
Me being quite used to this, told her calmly that I didn't want to talk to her when she was drunk, and then she started throwing things in my room to me, trying to force me to answer her. Then I told her that if she didn't stop and leave, then I would leave. She didn't stop, so I took my bag and left the house. It was in the middle of the night.
I first thought about sleeping outside in the shed, but it was too cold for that, so I called Sito and he came. Whatever god out there that sent him falling through the Rift, thank you, because he saved me that night. <3
We talked most of the night, and then I told him to drive me back home early in the morning, because I was worried that Mum would call the police or something. She was still sleeping when I got home, so I went to bed to sleep a few hours, and later that day she actually walked in and asked me why my things lay all over the floor.

What does one say in such a situation...? I told her the truth, and she was terrified. And excuse me for saying it, but she deserve that. She really does, because she hurt me that night. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I had to flee from my own home... which, now when I think about it, I wrote long ago wasn't my home at all, because home isn't a place to me any more, it is a feeling.

Hah, sorry. I should probably try and write something less depressing once in a while. Just one more thing though, and it is really bugging me: fefo refuses to work on my dad's computer for some reason. And I really needed "my family" right now...

Anyway, yesterday was my name's day: Maria/h. I messed up when I asked Mum that maybe we should go shop something yummy because of that, and because it was Saturday, my last weekend before school started again, and The Melody Festival. She immediately went on about how we didn't have any money and how she didn't have a car and that it was such a bad suggestion and that she always felt bad when I started talking about money. I tried shutting myself in my room and watch Doctor Who to take my mind off from that we were fighting again, but of course she had to butt in. I went to bed then, and the morning after I called my dad and it turned out he was going to watch hockey today. I asked if I could come, and I could, and I'm also sleeping over at his place, so that's where I am now. It feels good to get away from Mum for a while, but it doesn't make me like being at Dad's either, because I keep being anxious about him getting drunk too, or him and Altisa starting to fight.

But! (... And this is actually a funny thing... ^^') At the hockey game, everyone under sixteen went in for free, and I made it in as a fifteen-year-old! And I'm gonna celebrate my frikkin' nineteenth birthday this year! I love looking younger than I am! <3

And now I'm sitting here and is about to go to bed, but I've been looking at cosplay pics and got all inspired, so now I have to finish this short piece I'm writing about Sora-chan, Zoi and Zareb. Dunno if it ever will make it into the actual TSoaSS, but I already love it to death, so I will probably not be able to resist squeezing it in at some appropriate place. ^__^ Anyway, it's making Zareb happy, so...

That's it from me, people! G'night!

P.S. Don't forget to poke me! ;) I need that!